Defibrillators

I clicked over to Amazon this morning and saw something featured on the front page that I never would have expected in a thousand years: a home defibrillator. I guess the defibrillator shouldn't have struck me as being odd, as the big A has become the store that wants to sell everything to everyone. Why not a home defibrillator, "the latest in essential safety equipment? Owning a defibrillator would bring "peace of mind so that you can focus on life's good things."

I'm not sure that the Philips HeartStart Home Defibrillator would bring peace of mind to my house. I had a grandfather and uncle that passed away with heart problems. My mom has a pacemaker. Maybe I'm next in line. Maybe not.

Nevertheless, I was interested enough to read the sales copy:

Be prepared for the unexpected.
When sudden cardiac arrest (SCA) strikes, the electrical system of the heart short circuits, causing the heart to quiver rather than pump in a normal rhythm. It typically results in the abnormal heart rhythm know as ventricular fibrillation (VF). It usually happens without warning and the majority of people have no previously recognized symptoms of heart disease. And it most often happens at home. For the best chance of survival from SCA caused by VF, a defibrillator should be used within 5 minutes. Yet, less than 1 in 20 people survive largely because a defibrillator does not arrive in time.

Yow. I thought of the defibrillator scenes in Something's Gotta Give.

Maybe we should have these little defibrillators everywhere. A chicken in every pot, two cars in every garage, and a defibrillator in every Dunkin Donuts, McDonalds, and Burger King. Right by the cash registers. With a big warning sign that says: Eat Here and You'll Need One of These, Sooner or Later.

What was most intriguing was that the unit is currently marked down by a whopping $500. It's now just $1,495 for the peace of mind of owning "the first and only defibrillator available over-the-counter that can be used by virtually anyone with the materials included." How could I possibly go wrong? After all, it's "easy to use with guided interactive voice instructions." And most importantly, it "safely delivers a shock only if needed."

Selling defibrillators over the Internet is nothing new. You can buy all shapes and sizes, both new and used. But seeing this unit on the front page of the Net's most trafficked storefront ... that's shocking.