Toilet Paper Subscription Hits a Snag

I was slightly taken aback this morning, when I received an email from a real live person at Amazon.com. The subject: Amazon.com Subscribe & Save Notice of Discontinued Product set an ominous tone (it was Halloween, after all).

Faithful readers might remember my glee in ordering Cottonelle Toilet Paper with Aloe & Vitamin E from Amazon. The obsession with mail-order toilet tissue started out by the case, and reached nirvana when Amazon began offering it by subscription. Peace of mind reigned throughout ranchero indebto ... with nary a chance of running out of those precious paper goods at a precarious moment.

So when the email hit, I was momentarily stricken by the horrible thought of having to buy inferior toilet paper at a bricks and mortar store, no less.

But as it turned out, it was merely the paper product manufacturer playing marketing games ...

Dear Amazon.com Subscribe & Save customer, Thanks so much for being among the first customers to place an order through our new Subscribe & Save program. Unfortunately, an item you subscribed to, Cottonelle Toilet Paper, Aloe & Vitamin E, Double Roll, Case Pack, Four 12 Roll Packs, 300 Sheets Each (48 Rolls), has been discontinued by the manufacturer. As a result, we are not able to continue your subscription for this item. We're very sorry for any inconvenience this may cause. However, we do have a new Cottonelle case pack that is eligible for our Subscribe & Save program and the 15% discount: Kleenex Cottonelle Aloe & E Double Roll Toilet Paper, 260 Sheets, 12-Count Packs (Pack of 4) Differences include 260 sheets per roll vs. 300 and an updated package. If you are interested in starting a new Subscribe & Save order for this item, choose a quantity and delivery schedule on the product detail page and click "Subscribe now."

Now I can't say I'm really excited about an updated package. I'm miffed in the reduction in the number of sheets per roll. But that's not going to stop me from resubscribing. It's not Amazon's fault.

• The first case I ordered (not on subscription) cost $32.84, with no promotional discount.
• The last case I ordered (on subscription) cost $36.20 minus the 15% promotional subscription discount of $5.43
• The new crate of smaller (but not improved) rolls now costs $39.71. The 15% discount knocks it down to $33.75

It's a familiar tune: the price goes up as the sheet count goes down (by just over 10%). And you thought that Charmin was the toilet paper best known for squeezing ...