Massage Chair

I want a massage chair. But not just any old massage chair. I want one that I can use as a desk chair and control with my computer. A hand held controller just won't do. I crave a totally programmable massage chair that I can tweak with a web interface. Imagine leaning back at your desk, feeling that familiar twang of pain, and instantly addressing the problem with a click. Could it get better then that?

The only way I could imagine it getting better then that is if I had a personal masseuse on call 24/7 (along with the requisite expense account). Seeing as how that has little chance of ever happening, the dream of a high-tech massage chair is a whole lot closer to reality.

My dream massage chair would have a bit of artificial intelligence built-in. The web interface would ask me exactly where my pain was located and how it felt (ie: dull, sharp, or massive). It would suggest a number of alternative massage therapies. Then I'd pick a program and the massage chair would go to work. If that program didn't do the trick, I'd stop it with a click and the application would ask why and suggest an alternative course of action.

So why can't someone build a massage chair with a web interface? "If you nail two things together that have never been nailed together before," as George Carlin says, "some schmuck will buy it from you."

On those rare occasions when I'm dragged to a shopping mall, one of my favorite (and few) highlights is spending some time in the Brookstone and Sharper Image stores. I like the price of the comparatively inexpensive iJoy chair, alas it just just doesn't provide enough ooomph for my aching back.

Panasonic's Swede-Atsu massage chair looks like it provides a lot more ammunition, but it's their EP3202 Lounger that provides the closest approach to my dream; the remote control has a nice range of options. Alas, the purchase price exceeds that of my first three cars combined.

Why can't some brave venture capitalist see that what the world really needs is an affordable computer-controlled desk chair?

In the meantime, I'll dream on, lean back, and keep browsing for the ultimate massage chair ...